About The Blog

Arthor Journer is my pen name.
"Arthor" comprises "art" + "Author" while "Journer" defines the journey that I was on and continue to travel.
In this blog is the emotional byproduct of this journey.

"Rites of Art" is the title because it is my "writes" of passage.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

My Corner Of the Sky

On gossamer wings of a dream I fly
Searching for my elusive corner of the sky
Looking under clouds and at the rainbow apex
Over cumulus and fog and the aurora beaurealis
Staring behind the moon’s shadow so dark
Through the milky ways distant faint heart
Around the edges of the sun’s blinking eyes
To discover my hidden corner of the sky
Time somewhere between now and forever
Places in the middle of there and never
A soft breeze directs the compass to the east
Mind reverberating dancing to the melody of peace
And my soul’s dream lay right before my eye
My oasis in life my corner of the sky

Impossibilities Made Possible By Him

Building an igloo on the sun
This impossible deed done
To go beyond my mind’s thoughts
To go above what my heart has wrought
To go past the yearnings of my soul
And yield to You total control
Building a sand castle in the sea
This impossible deed
To run with my eyes closed
To go forward with no plans to unfold
To go relying on faith
And just depend on what You said
Building a house made of steam
This impossible dream
To have a clear no preconceived mind
To not be moved by the past left behind
To erase everything seen or heard
And yield to Your every word
All things are possible with You

Loosing Myself Loving You

And these eyes are mine no more
To see life for myself
Here in my virgin veins
All that I see is the passion of pain
Cause my soul has turned black and blue
I am loosing myself loving you
And these sounds are mine no more
To sing life for myself
Here in my brittle brain
All that I hear is this sultry stain
Cause my heart has become askew
I am loosing myself loving you.

When My Ship Comes In

Waiting on the shores of destiny in the sands of time
Visions and dreams reforming in the center of my mind
Waves tell of far away lands and people to see
But not one offers to bring my lover to me
The brisk air chills my flesh to the bone’s marrow
Patience escapes the grasps of my hands in wont of tomorrow
Just the other week got a letter from my lover’s heart
That told of her voyage to me she was about to start
Bags packed and anxious to board this cruise ship
Unaware of the destiny of the wisdom of the iceberg’s tip
Pacing the ground making love messages in the sand
Waves and wind erasing heart felt words from the land
Broken seeds that have died even before being placed in then sod
Vacant alms are offered to this deaf and blind god
My love went down with the Titanic now is one with the sea
I still wait on the shores of hope looking for my ship to come in for me.

Fire in the Whole

On the edge and swiftly loosing control
As a result of fire being in the whole
Grenade thrown in the depths of my heart
Threats of its explosion ripping me apart
Mortal attack on my life sustaining organ
Ears to deaf to understand the enemy’s jargon
Ambushed by its relentless assault
Several dead many more wounded as a result
Evacuation the only choice to maintain the death toll
For she has dropped a bomb fire in the whole
Fierce battle numerous casualties on both sides of the war
But the refugees of feelings peace and joy they look for
Finding some they must survive in this barren land
No water or feasts or safe comfortable places to even stand
Homes destroyed along with live stock still live closely
A community of shattered dreams but dwelling in unity
No white flags flying my hope for a truce
POW captured surely will not point to the noose
Shattered heart and mind but sturdy stands my soul
Unscathed, unmarred and strong sensual tendencies aftermath of fire in the whole

Riding on "E"

Lonely voyager on life’s great sea
A sailor in a yacht riding on “e”
Anxious for the next filling station squandering thorough present and past relations
Struggling to go beyond manifest destiny
Float on fumes that evaporate so swiftly
Passersby wave and continue on their journey’s plight
My yacht now drifting slowly into the night
Sun rises expose what is really real
Since many time moonless nights without a meal
But it can only show me in the middle of the sea
Here in this yacht in life’s ocean floating on “e”
There is a stone in my heart I just found today
Heard of it as I knelt and prayed
Unforgiveness blocking the flow of blood
Hiding like the nectar of a tender rose bud
No bees can taste the sweetness of pollen
Blessed by God but also have fallen
Like a dam blocking the path of a river
Transforming me into a taker from a giver

I Wait

Have no combination or key to unlock the gates to your fences
But hope a word or two will relax your heart’s defenses
Dreams invade my nights foretelling of passion’s desire
Beyond the miles of ten feet high barbed wire
Flesh wounds will surely be worth the chance to invade
Any other counter measures assaults the risk will have to be weighed
Only the imaginative can touch the treasures that lay within
But your brave soldiers the borders fiercely defend
Here I stand in the rain and snow and sleet patiently await
For the day that you will greet me and open your gates
Red roses only offer condolences of sweet sorrow
But the sun’s intrusion says that things will be better tomorrow
Right now though the great star flickers so dim
And the blues is played for the flower’s requiem
My essence fades into the shadows like a silhouette
A faint black figure illuminated by the fall sunset
The cocoon caused my life to falter
Now mummified before the ethereal alter
Dream of tomorrow’s newly found oasis
Takes my soul thorough the night of joyous places
A diamond revealed amongst the miles of sand dunes
Foretells that dreams will come true very soon

On A Windy Day

The winds in my wings set my soul to flight
The spiral of fire in the sky conquers my subliminal nigh
And as eyes are opened and the whispers are heard
My veins dance and sway and are caught in the breath of the words
There is this red roof on the barn in the field I lay
A building full of gold and silver and delicate food all on display
Precious gifts are placed in my hands and flood my ears
Priceless thoughts that transport my mind to joyful tears
A diamond in the rough precious crystal dirtied by time
A wonderful song of life behind the jumbled phrases and rhymes
But with my eyes I see the wind dancing above the seas
The soul of a cloud of the heartbeat of a swarm of bees
So in this field of dreams I lay dancing with the clouds
Swaying to the beat of Spring as buds open so proud
Not so far in the distance the wind is dancing with the trees
Patiently I wait for the wind to come and dance with me

The State of Alone

Tracing the borders of Alone that lay on the edges of the sky
Realize how deep wide and high Alone can be
Like the ocean’s bottomless pit that holds the answers to why
It swallows you up and invades your heart like the swelling sea
Heightless heavens reach towards the top of Alone
And far to the east past the rising sun is its home
Like grains of sand countless layered on the warming beach
I am finding out day by day as closer to the edge I reach
The fading stars disappear conquered by the rising sun
The whispering winds call out for me to go to this empty home
And I walk along the crashing seas near but one
Kicking the sand dodging the waves drowning in Alone
No life is around and like a sole rain drop falling from above
A grain of salt far from the quarry in the middle of the woods
Mate with a fractured heart imprisoned void of love
Alone embraces these and console more that any pill could
Bought my ticket and on my way to the tree in a field of wheat
Made my reservation to the hidden cavern I have come to known
Flagged down my taxi to take me where there are no streets
Venturing to follow the empty path to the state of Alone

Train Of Thought

Running down the tracks of times gone by
Tripping over the stone that was before my blinded eye
Mentally bankrupt because of the ticket that I had bought
But arrived too late and missed the train of thought
Flying down the eye way trying to meet ms write
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel my heart take flight
And just as I was midway between the tunnel I was caught
Hit ran over by this speeding train of thought
Stars going in circles around my dizzied mind
Try to get my composure and once again my way to find
Gotta get back on the path from here to over there
Thumb out as I walk along life’s path but all are unaware
Thorough sun and rain trudging to the next station
In the distance a small structure along the track inspires ovations
Got there in no time but was in the back going against everything taught
Stepped out to see it pulling off missed the train of thought
Waiting with baited breath my heart grows ever so faint
Staring back at me in the mirror is the questioning vision sinner or saint
But heart pure and flesh warring in the inner depths of my mind
Inspired to try once again victory is surely mine this time
Patiently waiting for this vehicle that for years I sought
This time it wont be missed this train of thought

The Mind Of Alice

She smiles and blushes as she walks through my heart’s door
Ignores the abstract tattoos and the slippery tile on the floor
She laughs and holds her hands shyly up to her cheeks
Sees the good in everyone and is so humble and meek
Her wisdom and artistic talent as wide as the skies
Eyes so sensitive that at seeing any pain of man or best begins to cry
A heart of gold and faith in the creator above
Is enough of charm to transform any area void of love
She looks into my eyes and tells me that I am special though my hair is thinning
I don’t have the big degrees or tall money but this could be a beginning

Even though she wears glasses she doesn’t see the stitches on my heart
Far as she cares it never make a difference for the very start
She applies salve and softly messages my soul
Told about my bleached history and things that were stole
Stirs my heart and makes the blood flow faster
Though she has a room of trophies ribbons, and plaques
Acts as if they mean nothing to keep her self-esteem in tact
She says I am the only prize that would be worth winning
I don’t have the best build or a fancy car but this could be a beginning

This Could Be A Beginning

She smiles and blushes as she walks through my heart’s door
Ignores the abstract tattoos and the slippery tile on the floor
She laughs and holds her hands shyly up to her cheeks
Sees the good in everyone and is so humble and meek
Her wisdom and artistic talent as wide as the skies
Eyes so sensitive that at seeing any pain of man or best begins to cry
A heart of gold and faith in the creator above
Is enough of charm to transform any area void of love
She looks into my eyes and tells me that I am special though my hair is thinning
I don’t have the big degrees or tall money but this could be a beginning

Even though she wears glasses she doesn’t see the stitches on my heart
Far as she cares it never make a difference for the very start
She applies salve and softly messages my soul
Told about my bleached history and things that were stole
Stirs my heart and makes the blood flow faster
Though she has a room of trophies ribbons, and plaques
Acts as if they mean nothing to keep her self-esteem in tact
She says I am the only prize that would be worth winning
I don’t have the best build or a fancy car but this could be a beginning

Her Affect On Me

If only she knew my thoughts and dreams
That when she looks at me my heart beams
My soul blushes and my mind is filled with symphonies
My pulse beats with the wave’s synchronicity
That with each sunset and every sunrise
Visions of her appear before my eyes
That with each warm breeze reminiscent of her caress
Each touch of a rose petal the softness of her breasts
If only she knew that each scent of lilac the wind brings
Makes me think of her and the sweetness she sings
At each night the sky blanketed with stars
Causes me to think of how far apart we really are
Each snow peaked mountain that I am entreated to see
Makes me reflect on the heights of love that I would give for thee
Each invasion of dark clouds that cover the sky
Mimics any desire to rain on her and drown in her eyes
Each river that flows swiftly through the park
Shows how we should flow as one from the very start

I Was Half Crazy And You Were Half My Age

I was half crazy and you were half my age
Somehow this mapped the plummet of my fall from saint to sage
Though your innocence was only equaled by your charm
My knowledge and devotion should have caused you some alarm
It was not the sneers or the stares that made me uneasy
But the passion that left my soul so dizzy
And when wide open eyes were engulfed in your morning gaze
My heart became lost and my soul wondered in a daze
I was half crazy and you were half my age
This was the spring that surfaced the bars for this cage
Amidst the clouds that rolled in from the east
There is a rough diamond that offers so much tension yet so much peace
A struggle a civil war ensue my mind against my heart
My soul the ultimate victim being ripped apart
Flesh is exhilarated though swims in the youthful bliss
Whether just hearing your voice or embraced by your kiss
I was half crazy and you were half my age
When summer and winter were called to love’s stage
And your clear hazel eyes stared into my bifocal lenses
My experienced words and patience tore down your fences
A full head of hair and its original shade
Mine receded or what little is left has swiftly grayed
Your heart so youthful open and fancy free
Mine broken shattered and approaching bypass number three
My mind has set its goal but my body can’t afford the wage
For I was crazy and you were half my age

The Dream Is In the Mirror

I began the journey faint of heart haunted by fear
Now the dream is staring back at me in the mirror
Afraid to take the first step our of the plane so high
Bombarded by what ifs my heart grows nigh
What if the parachute is faulty and I fall to the ground
No one to help me no one to hear my last sound
What if the wind throws me into the jet engine?
Will I die young and miss my years and my soul’s pension
What if I am blown into the depths of the sea?
Will I be rescued of will everyone forget about me.
What if there a helicopter spinning its blades below
That will slice and dice me she says as I fall ever so slow.
What if I take that first step and the parachute did not open wide
In fact instead of falling it took me to higher height in the sky
So now feet firmly on the ground I shed this joyful tear
For the dream that I once had is now staring back at me in the mirror

If I Ever Love Again

From mind to heart is how it all began
From the heart to the soul if I ever love again
Nights of heated passion and empty morns
Days of frustration and fights being the norm
Unanswered pleas and vacant appreciation
Blank stares combined with muted nagging conversation
House torn down by words flying like arrows.
Put downs and knives digging deep into the bone’s marrow
Lust in the heart an invitation to commit sin
Love from the start if I ever love again
Nights of meeting soul to soul drunk from bliss
Staggering through each other’s heart without a touch or a kiss
Days of holding hands and talks of the fields of tomorrow
A wink of the eye enough too calm any pain or sorrow
Words of love fill the air, kindness overflows our cups
Gratitude, and judgments fare a world pregnant with love
From acquaintance to test tried and true friend
From the past lessons I will operate if I ever love again.

The First Journey

Dancing on the edge of the wind my heart spreads its wings
Tears like sour wine ignites my voice once again to sing
This prism by my heart reflecting rainbows on my will
A tune for all to hear although my mind lays dormant and still
Seas between our shores sweet kisses placed on the peaks of waves
Birds soar on the horizons to halt this lonesome knave
Through the swells in the ocean’s soul, the journey goes on
These emotions wells in my heart though time’s threats are so strong
Skipping on the front of a typhoon dodging the storm’s surge
Eyes a glare like coals on my heart its filth to purge
Branding iron placed marks on the inside of my head
Fresh hail bombards my earth knocking me out and declares me dead
Moon beams sway in the soft approach of a warm spring morn
The way the white clouds brings the flower bulbs to scorn
Feathers ruffled but the rough fight to bliss continue
Emotion’s light a fire to clean each of my venues
Dangling in the weaved web of this two legged spider
Wings tangled in the ebb of the prisoner’s outsiders
Rainbow conquered by clouds my morn a defeated foe
Thunder rings so loud but my deaf heart would never know
The second downpour in my soul floods my heart’s levies
Drowning in emotions my mind’s drenched from the tears bevy

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Thoughts of You

Still mesmerized by the things that were said
Soul still full from the fresh nutrients it was fed
A star shining so bright in the sky a million more
This one glimmered differently grace and beauty galore
A flower so radiant and sweet fragrance that flew
This melody that my mind gently danced to
Fate that we met this time in this place
Still I feel you know me though we are not face-to-face
Still dazed by the uncanny similarities
Mind still confused on how it seems I was talking to me
A drop in a vast ocean so deep and so wide
Yet a drop that caused tsunamis to interrupt the tide
A butterfly so delicate and beautiful unlike any before
With words and laughter that caused my soul to soar
No key no combination my mind let you through my heart’s gate
Perhaps the smile perhaps the thoughts of a soul mate

Mental Marathon

Emotionally my soul is bankrupt the care is now gone
Swift feet leave you in my mental marathon
Guilt and shame stuffed in the secure safes of my heart
Severing the ties between us forever apart
The distance increases exponentially between us
The colors the borders can no longer be determined by our lust
My soul in wounded retreat vanishes beyond the hills
Forgotten are the embraces and the midnight thrills
My feelings can no longer be your mat or your pawn
With lightening speed leave you in my mental marathon
Pressure and pain builds up inside the hedges of my brain
Exploding the exterior walls of my arteries and veins
My ears are closed to your pleas my eyes closed to our plight
The memories are clouded forgotten is our delight
My heart has become rock and is fortified behind a barbed fence
Immune to your words they become worthless penance
My essence is repulsed by your hideous song
Leaving at the speed of light leave you in my mental marathon
To get as far away from you as my feet will take me
Joining the winds to finally be at peace to fly free
Many miles and light years separate our emotions
Between us so many lands forests desserts and oceans
My thoughts are so far from you I can barely remember your name
Though the hurts the scars and tears still remain
The love the intrigue the concern is no eternally gone
With closure my soul leaves you on my mental marathon
Crystal, ruby, diamond, silver and gold
What payment method was used when my soul was sold?
Currency in coin dollar bill or other commodity
Was traded for my soul’s priceless property
Bonds or stocks or real estate
Was exchanged for entry into its worthy gates
Now bankrupt with no hope in sight
Void of loans void of any tunnel light

The Distance Between

So many waves that rise and fall between our touch
Millions of winds that blow between there and here
Yet your words shrink the distance by so much
Making it seem like I am there and you are so near
So many grains of sand that fill the chasm
Millions of grasslands that reach our horizons
Yet your voice erases the essence of them
Making it seem with every morning that you are my sun
So many peaks of mountains that lay in our path
Millions of dividing miles that separates us
Yet your warmth is my anecdote to loneliness’ wrath
Making my heart fall deeper follow deeper in love
My ears could not understand the language she spoke
But my soul was warmed by her every word
My mind could not comprehend any keystroke
But my heart knew the beauty and truth it heard
This foreign tongue whispered sweet things in my ear
Yet to this day not sure what was said
Just know that it was just what my soul needed to hear
And just what my heart needed to be fed

My Guardian Angel

My guardian angel is no sweet small flying cherubim
But tall mighty with protective arms to my aid he comes
He is a strong soldier on the battlefield of my life
To shield me from the attacks of defeat and strife
My guardian angel stands tall and has powerful wings
That shades me and comforts me when they sing
He is beautiful and constantly obeys his master
Keeping me from falling into assured disaster
My guardian angel is no young cute cherubim
But a warrior and leader of a vast battalion
He is always there right by my side
With the exceptions of the times I am full of pride
But faithful and pure he returns with all of his might
To lead and guide me into the eternal light

Lost in Her Eyes

The world lay behind her eyes
Where joy peace and love reside
Her flesh her shape a hidden mystery
Yet her eyes became the world to me
Wide and brown smiling yet crying at the same time
Their beauty their ambiguity still echoes in my mind
The hear the sand did not force me to redefine
It did not order my soul to make her eyes my shrine
There were no words no touch to communicate
Yet we spoke for hours tempting fate
My heart was captures my emotions her nervous guest
My the weary invader from the far west
Her pulse her blink that matched the timing of my breath
Was unsure if she desired me or hoped for my death
Could no see the hidden expressions that were on her face
My thoughts naked my blushes open to her gaze
Covered hands could not determine if she was rich or poor
Yet just her eyes made my fantasies soar
Did not know if she was married or free
Or if she could speak my language easily
My eyes tried to say all that I felt inside
She just stared, winked and took my soul for a ride

That Dark Day

My hands are no longer free of blood
My mind is no longer clean from the mud
There are rivers and lakes of poisonous wine
There are fleshly areas with needles from a porcupine
My eyes no longer have rose colored lens
My heart is no longer a virgin to sins
There are orchards of vile rotting fruit
There are sturdy weeds that have taken root
My ears are no longer open as before
My feet are the soles of a sinner and whore
There are vile words that easily roll off my tongue
There are skies that will blush over the things I’ve done
My dreams are a circus of devils and saints
My art is a conglomeration of light and dark paints
There are deeds that will make your soul grieve
There are paths taken that you would not believe
My wings have been clipped my halo is no more
My rich emotions now falter so poor

The Dance

She says that she loves the art of dance
So daily she waltzes through my heart with romance
The trees do their tango with the autumn wind
Blowing thoughts of her through my soul my mind
So many rhythms and dances separate our hands
Yet daily through the air we tango in our native lands
Still I can hear the melody you breathed into my ears
A sweet song the diminishes all worldly cares and fears
Still the taste of your kiss lingers on my lips
Succulent pleasure with every stolen sip
Still the sensation of your fingers on my brow
Touches virgin spots in my soul even until now
My emotions are a soaked rag that I twist
An addict to her the moment we first kissed
And an anxious starving tongue to dine
This feast that both flesh and spirit delight
Fills my world with joy both day and night
Still I can see her shadow on my bed
Such fantasies still swim in my head
Still her scent lingers on my sheets
Invigorating my body from my head to my feet
Still the impression she left is engraved on my brain
And the love we shared rushes through my veins.

Stormy Seasons

Dark clouds invade my peaceful sky
From mountains on the horizon
Confusing the signature of time
You stand before me realizing
The air is thick as thieves
And pregnant clouds and wells of tears
The rain starts from your eyes I believe
But can’t determine which are the clouds or yours
They join and form a river at your feet
I am at a lost the rhyme or reason
But my soul refuses to retreat though it may be the rainy season
Steam fills the closed locked room
From the hear birthed from the shower
And you stand before me like a gentle flower
The air so think I can hardly breathe
And the moisture sticks to my pores
Sweat forms on your cheek I believe
But I can’t determine if it is from the air or is yours
The drops join and are washed down the drain
I am at a lost to the rhyme or reason
But my heart tries to comfort your pain
Through these stormy seasons

Paradise With You

My heart beating in time with the falling rain
Tides of passion expanding at the appearance of this lunar sphere
All attempts to quell my emotions are efforts in vain
The wind whispers to the world the joy of you and I here
Trees shake off their moist blanket from the brief shower
Ghosts and skeletons from the past finally subdued
As atmosphere free for love to spring to vault to flower
As our thoughts exposed our souls vulnerable and nude
Night is pregnant with faint hearts and blossoming eyes
Our arms full of the shapes and colors of love
The stars smile far away in dark poetic skies
And clouds act as curtains from above
Crickets and frogs compose a symphony for our dance
The scent of a fresh rain a baptized world fills the air
The soils of our flesh are fertile for romance
Our time together an answer to yesterday’s prayers
Paradise found in the warmth of your arms hold
Peace discovered in the taste of your kiss
Shy thoughts desires now arise confident and bold
My heart has found the source of bliss
The soft words gentle touches are kindling on the fire
Sparks of dreams swim in the moon beams
Every cell aches with boundless desire
As the night expands the shores of love streams
Each breath only fuels the raging fire
These paths of beauty we try to trace
The baths of charms like vats of gold
What pleasures we find in the curves of our face
What treasure our senses now behold

How Did We Get Here?

We have been together for so long my eyes have begun to rust
These timid sparks used to be ravaging fire of love and lust
Passion used to rush through my veins so fast
Now they merely echo the dreams of the past
Her sight used to inspire my stomach to butterflies
Now the taste the touch is the bane of all that is despised
I used to find such joy lost in her locks of hair
Now each strand is s noose that kills my stare
Her hands used to be a source of such soothing peace
Now they only bring my soul to its knees
We have been together for so long my kisses are like a desert
The love that was such bliss now is a well of pain and hurt
These conversations that spanned all spectrums for so many hours
Now lay gray and dead like these once thriving flowers

Things I Hate

I hate the breeze cause it blows a sweet caress
The way you used to hold me against your breasts
I hate the sun cause it sends its tender heat
The way the passion burned from our head to our feet
I hate the rhythm of the ocean
It reminds me of how we danced with every notion
I hate the song the birds sing
It reminds me of how we talked about everything
I hate the wonderful fragrance of the rose
Cause it reminds me of your scent that filled my nose
I hate the softness of the summer grass
Cause it reminds me of our picnics in the past
I hate the waves that rush to the shore
Most of all I hate me for not loving you more

Identity Theft

You stole everything so little of me is left
Your larceny is truly identity theft
When I look into the mirror all I see
Is what I am not what I will ever be
You took my dignity and inserted lies
You wounded my heart and killed my pride
You robbed me of my hopes and all my dreams
You have blinded my eyes to falsify my reality
You have replaced my gold with painted steel
You have given me love that is tainted and not real
You have whispered untruths into my anxious ears
You have traded my bravery for waves of fear
You stole everything so little of me is left
Your larceny is truly identity theft

I Know She Will Never Be Mine

Her hair was silky and down to her rounded hips
She was a clear glass of sweet wine
That my heart had to stop and sip
Though I knew in my head she’d never be mine
She fed me fresh dew and exotic fruit
Her touch an elusive delight my soul had found
That resonated down to my very root
Yet like rain will only temporarily moisten my ground
Her eyes see my caves and into the shadows
She was a dark cloud pregnant with rain
That would baptize me and leave a rainbow
But only a memory that would be grasped in vain
Now my lips are dry and cracked
A desert now that her cool moisture I can’t find
My soul prays for her to come back
But I know she will never be mine

Who Do You Think You Are??

Who do you think you are?
Trying to catch this star
Your mind too small heart too weak
Not enough words for you to speak
Your past full of failures
No experience or thoughts to tailor
Who do you think you are?
Trying to catch this star
Your legs cannot bare the weight
Success is not in your fate
Your lineage is not of any wealth
You are too full of yourself
Who do you think you are?
Chasing after this star
Your arms can hardly lift
There is no greatness in your gift
Your eyes can see only so deep
Your hands are only to sow not reap
I hear your words and your lecture
But my hands, heart and soul are star catchers